Learning life lessons without painful experiences?

Can we grow by going through pain and difficulties? Normally, yes.
Can we avoid the pain, but still grow? Yes, but there are conditions.
This short article is exploring this subject.

We live in the dual world where good times and bad times are equal parts of the perpetual cycle. There are many reasons for designing this reality in a sine wave pattern, most of which are outside of our limited 3D understanding. But what we definitely know is that life can be compared to school where we’re always learning lessons, gaining knowledge and growing in our understanding and development. Reaching a necessary level of polarity (positive: service-to-others or negative: service-to-self) can be considered as an ultimate goal for graduation from the third-density school of life and for ascension to the next level of spiritual evolution.  

Many people can confirm that a lot of lessons they’ve learnt in life were related to the time of going through difficulties, failures, disappointments and pain. Does it mean that the majority of life-lessons have to appear as negative catalysts, causing us to experience pain and suffering?

Let’s follow the following logical thread of statements from the Law of One books:

1. When speaking about positive and negative paths of ascension, it’s mentioned that our Logos “has a bias towards kindness” (Ra). It means that our reality is designed in such a way that it provides us with more opportunities for choosing and following the path of service-to-others (positive polarisation).
   
2. This is confirmed by the following statement: “Indeed, your third-density experience is distorted or skewed so that the positive orientation has more aid than the so-called negative” (Ra).
   
3. It may sound comforting since the positive (service-to-others) polarisation encompasses kindness, compassion, unconditional love, joy etc. But how does one become inclined to serve others as opposed to helping himself? How does one learn to empathise with others to such extent that he ignores his own ego’s requests and chooses to get out of his comfort zone, to sacrifice his own pleasures, to endure discomfort, pain and much worse for the sake of other human beings? This ability of self-sacrifice for someone else’s wellbeing – can it be developed by itself or does it get acquired by going through one’s own suffering and first-hand experience of pain and difficulties?
   
   The answer is well-known: in many cases we need to experience something ourselves in order to understand how others feel in this situation and what they might need. Learning from our own experiences is the most efficient, but sometimes painful way of studying, isn’t it?
   
   Compassion and empathy are often born in pain: “each is able to see that compassion has grown during pain… For at the end of each and every failure, at the end of each and every limitation, once accepted and forgiven, can the Self find the corresponding compassion for that same limitation in each and every other human being which it encounters in the same situation.” (Q’uo, 1989)
   
   This way of learning in the third density school of life is architecturally designed (archetypal). And Ra summarises this archetypal concept by saying: “The nature of polarity is interesting in that those experiences offered to the Significator [to the Self] as positive   frequently become recorded as productive of biases which may be seen to be negative, whereas the fruit of those experiences apparently negative is frequently found to be helpful in the development of the service-to-others bias.” (Ra)  

Based upon these previous statements, it’s possible to assume that in order to learn our life lessons (and to gain a minimum threshold of the positive polarisation for ending the cycle of 3D incarnations), we need to go through hardship. Some people actually feel this necessity and they intentionally put themselves into situations of deprivation, austerity etc. for accelerating their spiritual growth. But is hardship the only way for assisting us in spiritual growth and graduation from the third-density reality?

As it turns out there is an opportunity to use “good times” in the same efficient manner and, therefore, to avoid the lessons of the “bad times” if they are learnt in advance:

“May you grow sweeter through adversity, and, most of all, may we say perhaps our greatest hint to you, as those who would like to continue speeding up the rate of acceleration or growth spiritually, learn to work as hard during those times perceived as positive as those times perceived as negative, and the negative events shall not need to occur.

In order to gain from the positive, one must do what would be impossible were not one familiar with negativity, that is, one must push against one’s own standards of excellence, attempting at all times to give more and more praise to the Creator, more and more of one’s conscious hours, attempting more and more, in moving into the sleep pattern, to program the self for the learning, and the setting of new metaprograms closer to the one great original Thought. Do these things faithfully. Work during the easy, the happy, the contented, and the peaceful times, and your lives shall become ever more peaceful and contented. The work must be done, my children. You have designed this into your incarnations.”  (Q’uo, 1989)

This is a very important hint for anyone who is ready to be conscious in every situation (good or bad), who is always trying to find love hidden in all circumstances, to recognise the lessons of Love, and to use every catalyst (pleasant or painful) as an opportunity for personal development and spiritual growth.  

It’s worth mentioning that the same idea was conveyed to me through the Dream Yoga practice. I was told that certain unfortunate circumstances and painful catalysts can be avoided, if I learn the lessons embedded in them prior to their manifestation in my waking life.

This is why certain precognitive dreams can provide us with secret information about some upcoming catalysts as a material to work with, offering it as a base for resolving something internally, as a trigger for making necessary changes – the Transformation of Self that moves us towards the positive polarity. And if it’s done in a true and sincere manner, then such situations/catalysts may not manifest in real life, because they become unnecessary: their lessons are already learnt; so some future catalysts on the path of incarnation can be programmed differently, in a less painful and more positive fashion.

Perhaps this insight can provide enough motivation for starting to learn the lessons of Love a.s.a.p. by looking within, forgiving self and others, healing and making the transformational changes.

Author © Margarita AoteaRa, 2022
For reading/purchasing “The Law of One” books please visit the L/L Research website